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Then a new body. One without daily pain. Can you do it?Could I stay here until it happens?" Jimmy you've been my best friend forever. You're the only person whoever totally accepted Kat for the person she was. There's nobody in theworld I'd rather use the machine to help. And of course you can stayhere, before and after, as long as you like until you figure thingsout." Then I think I can make it two more months, if I know I'll be better inthe end." Well there is one more option." Another option?" Yes. Abigail." Abigail? Who is this Abigail?" Jimmy, when I realized what the machine could do and decided that Iwould change myself I didn't set out to do a gender swap. I thought thatall the awkwardness in my life would go away if I was the kind of girlwho liked feminine things. The kind who liked to wear dresses andmakeup, who went out with boys and had sex like the women in thosetrashy romance novels." I didn't know you read those." Yeah, my big secret. I was trying to figure out how to. My life become one of memory and fantasy. Memories of days, nights, experiences, with Julie and Anne, and other women, some of whose names I could not even remember, some of whom I was surprised to realize I had known twenty or thirty years earlier, were incomparably more vivid than Lynn’s infrequent, wraithlike presence. I masturbated to those memories considerably more than I had sex with my wife. And I masturbated to rented videos, seeking out those which featured women who bore some resemblance to Julie and Anne and Lynn in bondage or being sodomized. And I desultorily cruised the Internet, occasionally sending out the images of Lynn, but not often. I did not take any new pictures of her. That was far beyond our sex life, which consisted of my turning her sleeping body on its side in the mornings on those weekends she was home and sticking my cock in her unresponsive cunt for a few insipid minutes while I fantasized about someone else far away and long ago. I found myself.
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